“What you end up remembering isn't always the same as what
you have witnessed.” A few years ago, I
heard this quote which I eventually learned came from Julian Barnes’ The Sense of an Ending. It stuck with me because I have come to
realize that it’s a succinct statement about life. Selective memory is a constant in most people’s
lives and there are two fine lines between being stuck in the past, focusing on
the present, and worrying about the future.
In my opinion, living a successful life means being able to maintain
perspective on these aspects through your memories, experiences, and
expectations.
What got me thinking about this topic was, randomly yet I guess fittingly enough, by watching The Wonder
Years (1988-1993) on Netflix for the first time ever. Growing up, my family opted out of cable so I
never ended up watching much of what is now considered quintessential 90’s television. I had never seen an episode of Boy Meets World until last week; I
recently learned that several famous comedians got their start on All That, and I honestly never really
liked Hey Arnold all that much. I wasn’t so deprived that I didn’t get to
experience Batman, Pokemon, Kids WB,
Toonami, and One Saturday Morning,
but I really do have a lot of catching up to do when it comes to most classic Nickelodeon
shows.
For those of you who haven’t seen The Wonder Years like I had, here’s my summary of it. Filmed in 1988 and set in 1968, the show
follows Fred Savage’s somewhat precocious, yet consistently self-centered Kevin
Arnold through the rough formative years of junior high/high school. Major themes of life development are tackled
throughout the series’ run, with first loves, death, popularity, teen angst,
maturity, and immaturity being especially recurring in each episode. As someone who is now outside the age range
that the show spans, I can look back and relate (and also laugh incredulously
at how much of a selfish ass Kevin acts like in almost every single episode) to
the different developments of life that shaped my opinion of the world today.
What ended up striking me most about viewing The Wonder Years for the first time was how purposefully nostalgic the show
is, and thus imbues the same look into the past for its viewers. The opening credits of every episode show
home videos of the fictional Arnold family playing in the yard, barbequing, and
hanging out circa 1987. By the time you
get to the series finale in 1993, you realize you’ve watched Fred Savage and
his child coworkers grow up in front of your eyes (in my case, in the span of
three weeks) and I started to relate this back to my own childhood.
I am now an employed college graduate with only an educated
guess about how the next two decades will turn out for me. All of my friends are either starting
college, deciding what to do as a first job, or settling into the first few
years of their careers. One of my last
links to childhood, my two youngest siblings, are starting to get past the
innocence we’ve all felt as kids and it’s a little bittersweet to realize. As I say all of this though, these
developments and realizations are what get me excited for the future. There are always more experiences, expected
and unexpected, to check off your life list and having kids of your own will
allow you to live your childhood again vicariously through them. I’m going to be extremely annoying/precise
and say that The Lion King was
correct in that life is a circle and we get to relive our memories through each
new generation while also focusing on our present and future
opportunities. This might be a
subconscious understanding that lies within all of us, but I’m really enjoying
developing a full understanding of nostalgia’s place in life.
Wrapping up all of this, I want to make one last note on
nostalgia as it relates to the quote that I started this whole thing with. The most miserable parts of life aren’t
always going to be the ones that define you and stay with you. Here's an example: hospitals will most likely have negative connotations and memories
associated with them, but they’re also (normally) the places where we are brought
into this world. Being made fun of,
failing a test, getting dumped/being in a less than ideal relationship, or not
getting the job you thought you wanted are not going to be the things that you
look back on. You’re going to remember
the people you had fun with, succeeding beyond your craziest expectations,
finding the perfect person to be in a relationship with, finding contentment
and reward in your job, and raising a family that you’ll always be proud
of. That’s what you’ll end up
remembering at the close of life and that’s exactly what I can’t wait to
witness in my life.
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